November!
Our lake is frozen. The woods and yard around our home are festooned with a sprinkling of snow. After bundling and walking in the invigorating wintery air, we relish returning to the pleasant ambience of our cozy house.
Every season is just right for gracious hospitality, but perhaps the warmth and loveliness of home are especially welcoming in the cold weather months. Whether preparing a supper for just Joe and me or serving company, I love to set a beautiful table and create an environment for sharing a leisurely meal.
There is an old saying: “More is caught than taught.” I really believe that. My mother thrived on fixing special meals, whether just for our family or for guests. When I was very young, she taught me to set a table properly. My mother gave me jurisdiction over centerpieces and little embellishments such as place cards and tiny table favors.
We had floating candles, and my favorite thing was to launch these floaters in Mother’s etched crystal bowl filled with water and flanked by tapers in candle holders replete with crystal pendants. Sometimes we had flowers to adorn our table, and there were always seasonal accents–Thanksgiving turkey candles, Christmas ornaments, Valentine candies, etc. Setting the table was one of several household jobs which were my responsibility as a child. It was the one that I enjoyed the most–both then and now!
No matter what kind of weather we are having, today more than ever there seems to be a pervasive attitude of stress “out there”. Just as my gracious mother did, I have consistently militated against stress. Even though we had years of it, I have always refused to be dominated by stress.
When stress surfaced in our busy family years, I took steps to counter and eliminate as much of it as I could. I found that the best way to deal with the stress of the outside world was to plan plenty of leisurely meals and/or tea parties: little islands of serenity to take us out of time and into the realm of something that really matters–quality living where people share mellow conversation over good (often simple!) food, served at a table where aesthetics are valued and appreciated!
Over years of rummaging, I’ve collected many sets of vintage dishes–some English china, a lot of English transferware, and some fun and funky American retro. There are plenty of place settings in these patterns, but my great joy is to mix the dishes up. Cups and saucers needn’t match, and dinner plates are especially fun when they don’t look anything like the plates on either side of them at the table.
Ice water is gorgeous and refreshing served in an interesting mix of receptacles: everything from crystal goblets, to EAPG (Early American Pressed Glass) tumblers, to a mixed assortment of retro floral glasses. Even canning jars add variety and interest.
One needn’t have multi sets of dishes, or an overload of cash, to create an imaginative table. A trip to St. Vincent’s Thrift Store or a GoodWill outlet can yield a plethora of mis-matched dishes in a variety of designs and patterns for the proverbial song. At these same stores, you can probably find a worn but clean single bed sheet in an English country floral pattern–or a tattered ecru lace curtain–to use as a table cloth for that special tea party or dinner.
Flatware–knives, forks, and spoons–can be found at thrift shops and yard sales, too: some silverplate and even bits and pieces of sterling. If silver is not available, stainless is fine. When odd pieces are purchased in patterns that don’t match, the price is apt to be reasonable!
Centerpieces! There is nowhere on earth more creative than one’s table. Anything works when arranged with love and a teeny bit of ingenuity! Flowers are classic. The supermarket bouquets are often cheap but ugly when you buy them intact. However, when these flowers are severed from each other–with stems cut at diverse lengths–they take on a whole new life. Small arrangements can be created by sticking bunches of the cut flowers in little vases, sugar bowls, creamers, or Smucker’s jelly jars. Three daisies, cut with two inch stems, are exquisite when presented in a toothpick holder and randomly placed on a dinner table.
There are as many options for centerpieces as stars in the sky. A weather-beaten wooden box is elegant when filled with sea shells and dangles of colorful beads, bracelets, and earrings. It’s like a pirate’s treasure chest, only the “treasures” are gleanings from beaches and rummage sales.
Pine cones in wooden bowls, dried leaves scattered among the place settings, and assorted candles all find their way to our table. Sometimes I pile a few tattered, hard-cover books (preferably faded volumes of 19th century poetry) in the middle of our table, and top the books with a chipped porcelain cup and saucer and a pair of reading glasses.
A much-loved centerpiece is a large clear glass bowl filled with pieces of broken china, pottery, and glass–all sparkly and glowing under candle light or the overhead light fixture. I never use this centerpiece when small children are present at the meal, for obvious reasons. A safer and equally pretty version is glass bowls filled with smooth glass stones, available in many colors at your local dollar discount store. (We need to make sure the children don’t swallow the stones.)
The table cloth (anything from gaudy retro cotton to an old curtain or quilt top) can be strewn with metallic sparkles and stars. Very literally, the sky is the limit when it comes to bringing beauty and fun to a meal!
Our family and festive meals have ranged in numbers from a handful of people around a table to years of Thanksgiving dinners where we had from 18 to 30 hungry and appreciative folks. Those were the 24-26 pound turkey years. Now that our Thanksgiving dinners are smaller, I still try to find a large enough bird to provide plenty of leftovers for winter soups and sandwiches. Boiled turkey bones make heavenly soup!
For Thanksgiving, I love to use my wedding china. It’s a pleasure to place the dishes on the table, eat off of them, and painstakingly wash them when the meal is over.
Washing up the dishes is a social grace in itself. People who consider dishwashing a chore to be dispensed with quickly will never be my choice of helpers in the kitchen. I call these efficient folks “The Slam Bangers”. They mean well, but they miss the point! They needn’t apply!
After a delightful meal and a relaxing hour or two of after-dinner table conversation and coffee, leisurely dishwashing is sheer pleasure. I prefer to do the organizing, but I don’t mind accepting help from anyone who views dishes as a joy and dishwashing as a slow and integral part of the gracious whole.
Just as my mother, grandmothers, aunts, sister, and I had wonderful “girl chats” on dishwashing occasions, now I relish dishwashing talk with family members and friends. The men retire to the living room, or to the downstairs TV football games, and we ladies have what the Scottish call “a wee crack” about all-important matters of hearth and home.
A day spent in preparing, sharing, and cleaning up after a feast is the epitome of gracious living. It’s a cushion against any storms or stress the weather outside might bring. God made a world full of beauty for us to enjoy. The wholesome pleasure of the eyes is as vital to our souls as good food is to our taste buds and physical bodies. God willing, as long as I have two legs to stand on and two hands with which to serve, the weather inside our home be that of gracious ambience!
P. S. It’s sad that women sometimes think their homes have to be spotless and dustless in order to plan a company meal. That’s hogwash to the max! Gracious meals can prevail no matter what the conditon of the home–even in the midst of major household decorating and remodeling projects. In fact, a bit of chaos surrounding the serenity of the table adds humor and interest.
I’ll never forget the time I served an elegant three-fork luncheon for nine ladies while Joe was tearing out bathroom ceramic tiles just a few feet down the hall from our party. Joe hammered, chiseled, and hacked–and some of my knick knacks pinged off a shelf on an adjoining wall–while we ladies had mellow and hilarious conversation over salad, casserole, muffins, cake, and Yorkshire Gold tea set to a background of Celtic harp music on the CD player.
Memories are among the most precious things on the face of God’s earth! We can create memories wherever we live, with whatever we have on hand, so long as we value the weather of hospitality and sharing in a setting of gracious ambience!
Indeed, more is caught than taught. We have four daughters, and every one of them takes pleasure in serving a fine meal on a lovely table. Our two sons have married women who are also good chefs, and they value gracious ambience as well. The beautiful things in life endure!
Margaret L. Been–All Rights Reserved
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